Like many others, in 2009, a family from Drepung, Mongar moved to the capital, attracted by what urban Bhutan promised, several opportunities to work and thus a better life. It remained a dream, an illussion and soon began to transform into a nightmare. A young mother and her three children suffered as the head of the family, the father, began to slowly abandon them. The lights of Thimphu, the magnet that brought the family here began to gradually fade and soon darkness enveloped them. And on August 31, 2021, the three young siblings were thrown into a world where the beauties of life - love, joy, hope and others – just flew away from their lives. Their mother, who was just 39 passed away. This completely transformed the life and dreams of a 19-year-old girl, eldest of the three, as the responsibilties of both father and mother to look after her two younger brothers fell on her. A girl who had known sacrifice and the other players of life’s darker aspects at a very early age, continues to confront these antagonists every moment. For years she has been fighting destiny and it still continues. She is Kinzang Dema and this is her story. Kinzang Dema, a science student from Dechhencholing Higher Secondary School, scored 83 % in the class XII examinations in 2021. Opportunities awaited her. She could have availed government scholarship to study in reputed institutions outside Bhutan and study to become a doctor, an engineer, architect and other coveted professions. But she didn’t; she couldn’t, as she faced a very complex and difficult situation, perhaps one of the hardest in our lives, too; she had to pick either opportunity or responsibility as her mother was a kidney patient undergoing dialysis and with other medical problems. If she left for her studies outside Bhutan, there was no one to look after her mother and two brothers. She has no regrets about her decision as it is one she made for “her world.” On a scholarship from the department of adult and higher education, she joined Royal Thimphu College (RTC) to pursue bachelors in Nursing and Midwifery. Her mothers’ conditions deteriorated. Her vital organs failed and ten days after she joined RTC, on August 31, 2021, her mother passed away. “I didn’t know what to do. I pray that noone faces such situations,” Kinzang says. As the eldest in the family, it became her responsibility to cremate and conduct the rituals for her late mother. I can see that she is trying hard to ebb her emotions and ensure that the water filled in her eyes do not flow down. Perhaps, it is so heavy; tears run down her cheeks as she thanks those who helped her at that crucial moment. “I have no words to thank His Majesty for the generosity and kidu that I received and other people, who came and consoled me” she states, wiping the tears off her eyes. Together with support from some family members and staff from her former school the final rites for her mother were conducted. A kidu beneficiary, Kinzang and her brothers live in Kabesa. One of her brothers, 17, is in class X and the younger, 15, in class V. Both study at Dechhencholing HSS. “My greatest concern is that I may not be able to replace and play the roles of both father and mother,” Kinzang says, adding that it could then make her brothers take the wrong road. “But I will do my best to ensure that they do not feel their absence,” Kinzang underlines. When asked about problems in her life, past and present, she says it is imposible to narrate everything. She has enough materials for a book. She takes a deep breath and says. “We were not able to pay rent for one year. I was worried that we may land up on the streets, but the landlord understood our problems and waived off the entire sum.” She adds that it is the presence of such samaritans, that makes her stronger. “Our people are good. Apart from individuals, organizations like the Chithuen Phendhey Association (CPA) have immensely helped us. CPA sponsored the education needs of my brothers and about 10 days back, they provided us basic needs like oil, soaps and others,” she says. It is an irony that the source and solution to all problems is money. It is the same for Kinzang. “It is difficult to meet ends; not to buy luxury items or new clothes but to buy the basic needs.” But she adds that after becoming a kidu recepient, things changed a lot. “However, we cannot expect more from His Majesty who has to reach out to thousands of people, some of whom may be in worse conditions that us. I wish I could do some part time job. ” The constant brushes with a world that has been unjust to her has emboldened her. “I have taken all obstacles and challenges as a test of my resolute and determination. I have instances where I triumphed and also failed. But I do not give up,” Kinzang remarks. But, she is just another human being. “Sometimes, I undergo severe stress, especially when I cannot buy or get basic necessities required. I feel inferior and then my confidence level drops,” she adds. During such moments, she seeks divine intervention by praying or listens and watches motivational videos. On chosing to become a nurse, Kinzang says that as she attended her sick mother at JDWNRH, she saw and understood how important nurses are in the lives of patients and their relatives. “Nurses spend more time with the patients. They are vital in giving hope, love and make patients smile, even if it is for a brisk moment. Every patient will be a mother for me,” she says. I ask if she has any message to the people. “With folded hands I thank His Majesty for the kidu granted. I also thank others for their support and love. The world may be terrible, but look for the good elements in it. One day, the sun will lighten up your dark world. Never abandon your family,” she says. As we part our ways, I think of Thomas Hardy who said “happiness is just an ocassional episode in the general drama of pain.” And I think, “does Kinzang even get that ocassional episode?”