It has been yet another 14 fulfilling hours in the field and it is not as easy a task as most presume it to be, especially when you have been doing this for the last 11 days, without a break. But at times like this, I think about the hundreds of others who guard our frontiers in inhospitable terrains across the country; others who are working to ensure that our people have access to the most basic need – water; those who are building homes for the homeless in desolate parts of the country and others who have sacrificed the chief nourisher of life – sleep, for the safety of others. I mull over a question many have asked; “what does a Desuup mean to you?” This was a tricky question for me on the onset, but having been in this institution of love and hope for long, I think I now have some concrete answers. We are the guardians of peace, but more than this, we reflect His Majesty’s vision of the country. We symbolize the love, belief, empathy and compassion that the Golden Throne has for the people and the country. Desuups embody His Majesty’s earnest conviction that each and eveyone of us are responsible for nation building and that we can. We should serve and be of service, lead and follow, set examples and be one. I have also been confronted by people who do not swallow words when assailing this body based on negligible incidences. Nothing is ever perfect. But I have realized that these outpours are momentary reflexes, reactions of human beings at and during a particular moment. Sometimes these margins are broken, too. And during such instances, I have responded either by remaining silent or by telling them to take their antennas of rationality further and have a look at those remaining awake to ensure that they can sleep and to think about the thousands who leave the comforts of their beds when messages beckoning them for duty arrives even at midnight. Yes! Just like many others, at around 11.00 pm on January 15, 2022, my phone began to ring. I knew that it was something important as people seldom call at such odd hours; and indeed it was. It was a call asking me to be in the field, a place I love the most, where service comes before anything else. Far and close ones often tell me that I have made this choice and to leave the disgruntlement at the side. This is not my disgruntlement; sometimes I am disappointed at those on the other side of the fence. Just as I and most of us, arrive at a rational conclusion by seeing the world through their lenses, I wish they would do the same. Why am I here? Is it the effect of growing up in police camps around the country? Many used to say that serving the country does not necessarily mean having to adorn a uniform, getting up early, saluting and shouting. But somehow, I saw a different charm in wearing a uniform and serving. There was this extra appeal in getting up early and beginning the day, unlike the rest reaching the office at 9.00 am. The 9 to 5 job wasn’t as exciting and attractive as the 24x7 life of the armed forces. However, you do not get everything that you want in life; and when my dreams of wearing the uniform shattered like pieces of glass, I was disheartened. Nevertheless, I found consolation in the doctrine of Karma – I was never meant to be a soldier. Meanwhile, I walked along the paths destiny laid for me. Like a feather, I went where the wind took me. I succeeded and failed. I laughed and cried. I hunted and was hunt down. But I always stood up; walked when I couldn’t run and rested when I couldn’t sleep. When a virus from Wuhan in China began devastating the world, a bleak prospect for me to serve like I always wanted dawned on me. I failed again. I wasn’t selected for the 39th batch of the Desuups and it was a very agonizing moment in life. The feelings that you get, the butterflies in your stomach when you fail as an adult and a teenager are miles apart. It makes you feel useless, worthless, empty and hollow. And the severity of this was amplified by the fact that I had not fallen down or failed for a very long time in life. I swallowed this bitter pill with a lot of water. I found solace by resting on the palms of uncertainty and the future – maybe I would be taken in during the next phase. There are some moments which cannot be described – good or bad. You have got to live the moment and experience it yourself. And a similar moment awaited me as I was informed that I had been selected for the 40th Desuup batch. I don’t recall being as happy packing my bags to go away from home. It didn’t matter to me which training camp I would be sent to. I wasn’t as happy shaving my head ever. I was selected to wear the orange. I wish I can live eternally in the three weeks at Tendu, which for me have been the most important moments of life. Under the heat and torrents of the lovely southern foothills, I was oriented and re-oriented on some of the most fundamental aspects of life and living – respect, humility, honour, team work, dedication and many more. What have I done so far? I believe that I have got more than giving out. I have had the honour to serve during the capital’s first lockdown at Olakha Centenary Farmer’s Market. I have spend two months after that serving in the nation’s commercial capital- Phuentsholing and later at the Desuung Club House here. I have seen the love of His Majesty, our beloved King crystalize in different flavours and forms, reaching out to all the people in the country. I have seen the same love from the people come out in a variety of forms like bottles of mineral water, vegetables, fruits and firewood. I have realized why we are such a unique and beautiful country. What about my journey forth? Destiny has been weird with me. I sincerely do not know where the wind will take me next. But no matter where, I will remain a Desuup; in soul and body, thought and action. I will be the humble messenger for a larger cause. Like the thousands of friends, who continue to sing the songs of love and hope even in the most depressing times, I will continue to be the envoy of our Beloved King, whose rays and light guide, lighten and warm every moment of our lives. Sonam Dorji, 32, is from Radhi, Trashigang and currently on duty at Olakha. (Edited for space and clarity).